The Principle of Seconds
There's a great divide that exists for many people between truth and tact. Too many people say exactly what they think, and it is sometimes a problem.
Honesty is not my villain here. On the contrary, I am one of the more honest people in society. I have driven back to fast food restaurants on more than one occasion when I realized that the cashier gave me back too much change. I have shared too many details with friends about my personal life for fear that they would think I was trying to hide something. I have even hurt myself simply because I couldn't lie about a situation. I respect the truth. I expect the truth.
Truth without tact, however, is a disaster waiting to happen. Time and time again we’ve heard the phrase, “Well, I was just being honest!”
Yes, but "just being honest" about the fact that you get on my nerves; or that you've gained weight; or that I really wish you'd shut up about the upcoming party, wedding, baby, etc. isn't exactly couth. Society has become so enthralled in personal rights and the right to self-expression that we've forgotten to respect the feelings of others. Speaking without thinking about the potential outcome is dangerous, often permanently damaging. This is where my principle of seconds comes in.
It is by no means a ground breaking idea. It will preserve tact, though.
The Principle of Seconds:
1.) Don't say anything you wouldn't say with a second person in the room.
2.) Wait 10 seconds before verbally announcing whatever is on your mind if it has the potential to be damaging.
3.) After you've waited 10 seconds, repeat the statement to yourself a second time to see if it's still a good idea.
4.) Think about what the reaction of the other person is going to be 5 seconds after you say it out loud.
5.) If you make a truthful but tactless statement, will you have second thoughts later about how the message might have been received?
Today's message is simple: The right to say something does not mean it is right to say it. Think before you speak. Observe tact when revealing truth.
Honesty is not my villain here. On the contrary, I am one of the more honest people in society. I have driven back to fast food restaurants on more than one occasion when I realized that the cashier gave me back too much change. I have shared too many details with friends about my personal life for fear that they would think I was trying to hide something. I have even hurt myself simply because I couldn't lie about a situation. I respect the truth. I expect the truth.
Truth without tact, however, is a disaster waiting to happen. Time and time again we’ve heard the phrase, “Well, I was just being honest!”
Yes, but "just being honest" about the fact that you get on my nerves; or that you've gained weight; or that I really wish you'd shut up about the upcoming party, wedding, baby, etc. isn't exactly couth. Society has become so enthralled in personal rights and the right to self-expression that we've forgotten to respect the feelings of others. Speaking without thinking about the potential outcome is dangerous, often permanently damaging. This is where my principle of seconds comes in.
It is by no means a ground breaking idea. It will preserve tact, though.
The Principle of Seconds:
1.) Don't say anything you wouldn't say with a second person in the room.
2.) Wait 10 seconds before verbally announcing whatever is on your mind if it has the potential to be damaging.
3.) After you've waited 10 seconds, repeat the statement to yourself a second time to see if it's still a good idea.
4.) Think about what the reaction of the other person is going to be 5 seconds after you say it out loud.
5.) If you make a truthful but tactless statement, will you have second thoughts later about how the message might have been received?
Today's message is simple: The right to say something does not mean it is right to say it. Think before you speak. Observe tact when revealing truth.
posted by kassi at 8:38 AM
1 Comments:
Dang Kassi,
Most of my day would be taken up by seconds just thinking about the outcomes of my words or actons... I say, Screw 'em -- say whats on your mind...If the other person is adult enough, they will be o.k. :)
Post a Comment
<< Home